While we doctors are puzzling over squiggles on ECG traces, prescribing IV nystatin and ordering MR scans for patients with metal implants there are a bunch of people in the background quietly observing what’s going on. Porters, students, secretaries and canteen staff see the other side of hospital medicine. We’ve asked them to tell all.

I've been a security guard for nearly twenty years and in the same hospital for the last eleven. The hardest things about my job are the shift patterns. Doctors complain about their hours but it is nothing compared to mine. Three days on, three days of nights and then three days off. I've worked like that for years.

Most of my day is pretty boring. I help the porters out a lot when there isn’t much to do and I know them all by first name. Most of the incidents during the day are minor. I get called when patient’s relatives get nasty and cause problems. Or if a patient tries to harm themselves. Smaller hospitals make do with porters but there are always at least four guards on duty here at any one time.

Things start to heat up in the evenings - especially at the weekends. We have a busy casualty department. The doctors and nurses are excellent but on a Saturday night we get full with drunken yobs and drug abusers. Many just sleep it off but we regularly get patients who are violent.

I once had to mediate when a patient held a nurse at knife-point in a cubicle. The police were called but for the first ten minutes I had to talk the man down calmly. He held the knife up to her throat but was very still. If he had made any sudden movements I would have had to jump in but luckily he slowly put it down and we managed to restrain him. The nurse was deeply traumatised.

The strangest incident I’ve ever dealt with was when a group of medical students got into a fight. They were members of opposing sides in a rugby match and on the way back the winners started to taunt the losers. There was a chase and it ended up in a fight in our lobby. I couldn’t believe having to separate the crème of our country from trying to beat each other up.

One thing I love about the job is the food. Whenever I get to the canteen I get  the choicest plate of food and always get given an extra helping from the ladies behind the counter - it must be the uniform that does it.

Quietest times are when I'm  on at three am. There is often nothing to do as casualty has calmed down. We carry out patrols of the floors checking that things are ok and they usually are. We all meet for a coffee in the control room.

We have a handover system at the end of the shift. We all meet in the control room and hand over our radios. Usually there's nothing to hand on but sometimes there is. Last year we had a gun scare and eight of us went down to casualty. The armed police were called but it ended up being a kid with a toy. Thankfully I’ve never had to deal with a gun. Yet.